Leeds 15 Old Boys - Locker Room
Best attitude - Deg
Worst attitude - Harders
Moans about the pitch location. Moans about traffic and all other drivers' en-route. Moans about batting down the order even though he's got an average innings score of 6 (2011) and 3 (2010). Moans about who he's put in to bat with. Moans if there's any pressure on him to score runs. Moans about who he has to bowl against and which end he is put on at. Moans about where he has to field. Moans at Stoney for changing the field and therefore changing where he has to stand so moves every few balls. Moans about the price of beer after the match. Moans about subs and having to collect subs.
Sulks when he can't field close in and trudges slowly around between overs and when being asked to move position, holding up the game.
A bloody misery, broken man.
Forward defence king, not a team player, likes moaning and swearing when he miss-fields.
Hardman - Steve
Bats with a piece of skirting-board and still hits it further than anyone else. Wouldn't wear the dirty team vest.
I wouldn't mess with him and on a personal level, I act a little bit less like a d*ck when he's around.
PC Steve because he's rock! Would you mess with him?
Joker - Elliot
Most lads take a story that happened and exaggerate its boundaries when re-telling in the boozer. Ell creates stories which never happened at all and even he even smirks to himself when telling these stories because he knows he's lying. For example; telling everyone in the Cow he has sailed at least 200 vessels. Also a lot of his 'stories' happened when he was in Cardiff?
Always leading banter. Got to have a sense of humour when you have hair like that though!
Loves a story, wears funny clothes and has funny hair.
Biggest moaner - Stoney
Moans at whoever picks him up about the rendezvous point and if they are more than 1 minute late. Moans about having to carry his kit bag. Moans at oppo's bowlers for bowling wide's at him. Moans at the Umpire for not awarding wide's. Moans at his partnering batsmen for not backing-up or calling. Moans at the oppo's field placement. Brings himself on to bowl against the weakest batsmen then moans when they spank him. Moans at everyone in the field for various things. In particular, moans at Harders for his field placement and attitude. Moans at his bowlers for not hitting the perfect spot on the off-peg.
Nothing is ever his own fault and it takes only the tiniest thing not going his way for him to sulk like a big, balding baby.
Most intelligent - Scouller
Probably not the most academically intelligent but Scouller is a scholar with his rimless glasses and hi-vis QS jacket and clip-board. A student of the games of cricket.
Knows the game, reads the game, student of the game.
Least intelligent - Bolthead
Speaks his own language.
Do I need to explain?!
Worst taste in music - Scouller
He likes boy-bands and Wham.
Westlife greatest hits in his car - what are you doing man?!
Worst dress-sense - Kinghorn
Ridiculous hair that poses a serious risk of wasps developing nests in it. He wears the same horrible t-shirt every time we go to town and it's never ironed and doesn't really fit properly (not sure if this is because he's worn it so much it's lost its shape or if it just hangs off of his under-malnutritioned student body). Stupid 1970's boat-shoes he bought from a PDSA charity shop.
Kinghorn - Tramp.
He's a tramp and needs a wash.
Best dancer - None!
None, all awful.
Pete hunched over a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and 100% shape throwing.
Deg crazy limbs.
Worst dancer - Hardwick
No coordination whatsoever, pulls strange faces when a song he likes comes on... and 'points' at people he 'moves towards'.
Harders shuffling towards young girls, hips first with an unsettling look in his eye.
His moves on the dance floor resemble his bowling action.
Who's the longest in the shower - Stoney
Stoney has got so much hair to wash.
Stoney enjoys it the most.
Stoney takes the longest looking at everyone else's.
Whilst I am not adverse to a bit of shower time, and I do enjoy some crotch-watching on occasion, I have yet to see a piece that impresses me.
Harder's is disproportionally long in the shower.
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