Osfc play at Antequeroa tonight at 745 pm ko. Director of football Ray Ferris is expected to be in charge and will undertake fitness tests for Hibbert, Higgins and Pearson.

squad:

Gentle

Boyne, Storey, Leech, MacCloud

Loaiz, Patterson j, Patterson T, Hudson,

Wells, Galazzi, Carpernter, Louch, Sudell, Hibbert, Haddad, Namit, Bovine, Higgins, Wilson

admission is free

The old boys enjoyed a game against the current school last week and won 2-0 which was followed by the end of season awards. The season saw the successful introduction of Sam C and Joe B into the 1st first and gives us a platform on which to build for next season.

Thoughts now turn to tour which is in sunny Spain this year and summer football at the school fields (which is every Wednesday from 7pm)

We hope to welcome a few new faces so do come along on a Wednesday evening, even if you get there late...

OSFC 3 Windlesham 0

nice wet pitch, capacity crowd (18)

TEAM:

         JR

Boyne Hibbert BigBen DomMMMMMMM (Rory)

ReedmanS JoeB RobClarke  Cranwell (Andy)

                    Pato

                    Sam

Subs: Rory, Mat Wilson (not used), Andy Ingram

If last week's result of 3-0 was tighter than the scoreline suggested the 3-0 result this week was more like Steve Jordan on tour. Will Wallace broke down on the way to the game so Matt Wilson brought his boots but the scoreline stayed too tight to bring him on. The first 10-15 minutes were tight and Windlesham threatened and nearly scored except for a brilliant tackle by Dom MMMMM. We always looked like scoring when we pushed forward only our finishing was not great! We basically missed more chances than we could count and were only 2-0 up and half time. Thankfully we got a 3rd in the last 10 minutes but it should have been at least 8 or 9.

1st Goal, Boyne cross in from RB- onto Pato head into net

2nd Goal

3rd Goal Sam fired home after carrying through on goal

Miss count- 1045332233. Shooting practice Tuesday night

LEAGUE TABLE

See all

3-0 Harsh scoreline against a decent side.

Pitch had been rolled but wasnt great and made playing football in the middle difficult.

                 JR nets

Cheese (Clarke) Hibbert, BigBen, WilW

           Boyne  Hudson

Cranwell    Pato      Reedman

            Sam C 

We actually deserved to be ahead and had the better chances in the first 20-25 mins when their keeper made a brilliant save from Carpo and Will headed home a Boyne free kick ruled out for a soft foul. Chobham finished well after Sam R was fouled and a cross came across from our right and was volleyed home first time Van Basten style. 1-0 a half time and Cheeseman had had to go off on about 20 mins after turning his ankle so Husdon went to RB with Clarke CM

thanks to Austin for helping to run the line after Cheesman obviously couldnt help- note we owe him a few beers

we felt we could still get back into the game but didnt create as much in the 2nd half. They went 2-0 up when their 9 broke between Will and Ben and powered home the finish. We then pushed on and they broke away from a chance when Pato had a shot blocked and effectively finished off the game.

we should have had a penalty in the last 10 mins but the ref said his view was obstructed

Chobham arent the best footballing side we've played  but they finished ruthlessly and put pressure well all over the pitch. They'll do ok in the divisions above if they can keep their strike force. We probably could have done with another couple of subs today but we'll play worse and win games in this league...

The day started off freezing cold. The temp must have been in or around zero, but it was a very dry cold. Their pitch, though recently rolled, was incredibly soft and sticky. We were playing our boogey team, a team we hadn't beaten in 6 attempts. OSFC: Dan; Cheese, Willy, Ben, Dommm; Boyne, AJ, Pato; Cranny, Reedman, Carpo Sub/Lino: Jonny H We started right from the KO. There was a passion and an attitude about OSFC on Saturday that has sometimes been lacking. This passion was epitomised by the performance of Rob Boyne in the middle of the park, utterly dominant and bullying his opponents off the ball. We were the team playing the all the football and trying to create an opener. Our opener came from a familiar source, Carpo gathered the ball on the touch line and launched a long ball over the despairing defender. The ball judged perfectly into Pato's path to take it in the air via his knee and dispatch on the volley past the keeper. 1-0, and nothing less than we deserved. Not long after Carpo was unlucky to have a well judged toe poke rebound away off the inside of the post. It is a testament to our defence that I cannot remember a single W&H chance of note in that first half. Dan's kicking from the deck and out of hand was also particularly excellent. With about 5 mins to go before HT the game turned a little ugly. Their 11, having been given the runaround by Boyne and AJ, lost the plot. Having been dispossessed again by AJ who then broke past him down our right flank, 11 wildly scythed AJ down in full flow. A bad tackle- AJ was unsurprisingly injured in the challenge and an ambulance was called. 11 inexplicably escaped with a yellow card. There was a 20+ minute break as we waited for the ambo, the ambo got stuck in the mud, we pushed it a bit, it was stuck fast, we gave up and called another etc. I remember it was bloody cold, and snowing. Jonny H replaced AJ. HT 1-0 They started the second half a little better and created their first and only chance of the game with their 10 springing our offside trap but slinging his lobbed effort well over Dan's goal (and the sunken ambulance behind the goal). Jonny H was everywhere all at once and was breaking up any play W&H tried to piece together. Sammy Reedman really came into the game in the second half, dominating their left back with a mature performance that has been the hallmark of his season. Our second was a result of W&H not being able to get out of their half for a sustained period. Cheese headed their clearance down to Pato who played in Carpo first time. Carpo, who had beaten a ragged offside trap, calmly slotted the ball past an on rushing keeper. A very cool finish.  We had all the play at this stage and were playing some of the best football of our season. Our third came from further sustained pressure on and in W&H box. The ball dropped at Carpo's feet inside the box, he dominated his defender with some quick feet to close in on the goalie and had the presence of mind to slide the ball across goal to the unmarked Pato to stroke home from 2 yards. 3-0. The floodgates really opened at this point, a few asking 11 to leave the field as he was adding so little value. Also around this point Carpo started an impressive mazy run around a few of their players into their box where he promptly turned amateur comedian and threw himself the floor. In his own words "one of those cringeworthy moments". Superb.  Carpo, however, was to have the last laugh. After a William Hibbert Missile Long Throw, Carpo was unlucky to have his header saved on the line by their keeper on the scramble. Carpo gathered the loose ball from the save and was promptly fouled in the box. He picked himself up and pumped the penalty confidently into the top corner. 4-0. This was turning into a romp. Even Ben was looking to get in on the act, carving out some great chances of his own, turning defenders inside and out only to be denied at the last. Our fifth came from a long clearance (through ball) from Willy that surely accidentally ( Editors note; like ronaldinhos goal in WC 2002 v England over Seaman, it was so sublime some observers refused to accept its intent... ) landed at Carpo's feet with him onside and in on goal. A unbelievably casual finish into the side netting completed his hat trick.  FT 5-0. Well played all. A real team performance that proves our 30 point target for the season is more than obtainable. MOM obviously could have gone to Carpo for his second half hat trick and two great assists. However our second half dominance was built on Jonny H's tenacious industry and he was deservedly made MOM. A very enjoyable afternoon. We all hope AJ a speedy recovery.

It was a bright sunny day for football. The pitch was one of the bigger we have played on this season which we obviously expected to suit our expansive brand of exciting football. Deepheat was the talk of the dressing room, that and Andres' travelling tales (he was late with the kit).

We lined up as follows;

James Reedman; Jonny H, Boyne, Wallace, Dommmm mmmmm; Jimmy Pat, Clarky, Pato; Cranwell, Sammy, Carpo. Subs: Andres, KC.

We started brightly and were comfortably the better side in the opening exchanges. Having two confident, solid centrebacks in Boyne and Wallace settled the team early. We created a few excellent chances on the break through Carpo and Sammy laying on for Cranny and Pato but both were saved well by their keeper. Dommm also had a superb long range effort saved on the stretch. Clarky was a calming presence in midfiled, helping the team retain possession for long periods. They had a decent striker who once played for Farnborough (didn't we all) but was kept quiet by some astute defending. It was a tense first half, shaded by OSFC, and ended 0-0.

At HT we knew that if we built on how we had performed in that first half we could win this game. We also discussed the importance of starting from the whistle and being mindful of long balls over the top which would hold up in the wind.

Soooo... Straight off the KO their Captain lofted a long high ball over the right side of our back line for their nippy left winger to run in and score. 1-0, after 45 minutes and 10 seconds. Not a great start which left us rocking and having to weather a bit of an attacking onslaught from our newly confident hosts. However we worked ourselves back into the game slowly but surely with Carpo unlucky not to score after being put through by a lovely lofted through ball by Sammy, but his toe poked shot drifted wide. We also had a lot of joy in attack from their defence's inability to deal with James R's booming kicks out of hand. Around 60', and although he had a good game, Jimmy Pat's tackling had become a little more ragged than usual and was duly subbed for Andres, Clarky replaced by KC who joined Carpo up top as we saught an equaliser. 

Our breakthrough eventually came from the most likely source, a man who certainly knows where the goal is (Wilson, pg 2, 2013) and had looked sharp all afternoon. A free kick 25 yards out on the right side of their box, perfect for a left footed shot or ripe to be clipped into the box and attacked in the air. Carpo had neither in mind, instead simply rifling the ball across the goalkeeper into the far top corner, smashing the stanchion. A certain contender for goal of the season and our 50th of the season. 1-1 after 80 mins. Our ecstatic supporters from Chobham Burymead particularly enjoyed the strike. With their game postponed they had come to watch the leagues entertainers attempt to derail their closest rivals bid for promotion. This goal sparked a crazy final 10 minutes.

After our equaliser Knaphill poured forward for a late winner. The retook the lead with an cool finish from Farnborough Town which was unfortunately assisted by Boyne who had brilliantly stretched and prevented the initial throughball. 2-1 and they went bonkers in celebration, their sqeaky 'Captain' personally thanking Boyne for the assist. 2-1 after 85'. However neither team were not done yet and the game had really opened up. KC was bringing a cool head to proceedings up front and meant their defence couldn't double team Carpo. After chances at both ends we again equalised. Carpo held up the ball on the edge of the box well, squaring it to KC who deftly dummied his touch and let the ball run to Cranwell, who was in space to his right. Cranwell took one touch and fired a low shot in off the post from 18 yards with their keeper at full stretch. A classy finish to a classy move. 2-2. A nice touch to celebrate in front of captain squeak

Even at the death both teams had opportunities to take the points with KC nobbling wide when clear through (with Carpo and Pato in support) and James Reedman making a tremendous save from Farnborough Town to ensure the points were shared. Jon Hudson had the last effort when he shot just wide from the edge of the box

2-2 FT

Well played to all, especially in coming from behind twice. Though with the chances we created and the standard of our overall play we can take heart from the fact we should really have come away with 3 points. MOM was a difficult one this week, Carpo gets a mention with a cracking goal and an assist, Cranwell too with 6 goals in last 7 games, but this week Rob Boyne gets it for a vintage manic defensive performance.

No game until the 23rd. So two weeks off, please make yourself available for reserves and/or come and watch. Keep yourself in good fitness and see you all at training.

Pato

P.S Carpo has kindly offered to hold a freekick tuition session after Tuesday training for those eager to learn. Please let him declare your interest via facebook. Cranny is his first pupil.

There's a rambling match report or 2 below which you'll hopefully follow! 2 good wins against the bottom 2 teams in the league has given the side confidence but the real test comes in the next couple of games when we go up against better opposition. Our key attacking players of Pato, Joe B and Sam C can help us climb further up the table and we need them available as much as possible for the rest of the season.

OSFC 4 Pryford 1

The day started well, with a 20 minute wait in the snow for the changing room keys, However it could, and it did, only get better from there.

The team was kept very similar to last week after 7 – 1 thrashing of Elm Grove. James Reedman passing a late fitness test after damaging his foot training to beat people up, several hours before.

The pitch was like Honeycombe, it was sticky, uneven and if you didn't watch yourself you would get stung..

The weather was the coldest it has been this season, and with gloves controversially banned by the manager there was some furious late application of deep heat.

We again decided to play in all yellow, as the "yellow submarine" had brought us luck the week before. ( and now 4 out of 5 wins) we will continue this where possible.

At this point Andres turned up.

A good start was needed, that's what we got. Old Salesians keeping a good tempo and playing some nice football.

It wasn't long before our pressure told and we claimed the first goal. The ball was won in midfield,played to Joe Byrne by Cranny. He then, with the delicate touch and precision of a Renaissance painter, chips the ball over their back four right to Carpos path. Which Carpo calmly dispatched straight to the bottom right corner of the net, Pato following in Conscientiously just to make sure. 1-0 OSFC.

Will Wallace continued to marshal the midfield, with fans favourite cheesy & Middle earth's favourite son overlapping well from full back.

We had a couple of scares as they beat our high line but were dealt with well by Ben and James.

As we continued to assert ourselves the ball was played again to carpenter in the area, he drove In towards the goalkeeper and was taken down, only the referee out of the 23 people on the pitch did not think it was a penalty.

Sam R and Pato were linking up well, and we were breaking with pace, just the precision of the final ball was occasionally missing.

Still our reward wasn't long in coming. Pato won a great flick from a clearance, carpenter then touched the ball back to awards Joe Byrne. As he galloped gazelle like towards the bouncing ball 20 metres out my mouth shouted "hit it!" my mind thought "how do I explain another ball on the railway line to Matt Harding?"

As the ball entered the top left stantion like an Exocet missile, we all congratulated Joe on the great strike. I was relieved I wouldn't have another trip to sports direct.

2-0 OSFC

We are looking comfortable and that is the most dangerous time, two nil is the most dangerous Scoreline, and they started putting more pressure on us. The ref did well not to give a penalty for a dive by their striker, when I shielded the ball for a goal kick.

Dom then got a nose bleed after a great run, indecision costing him the goal the movement deserved. Next time go round the keeper.. :)

Some nice play down the right from cheese and Sam, Resulted in their player hand balling and giving us a free kick on the edge of the area. A booking was the correct decision

Carpo stepped up to drill a fierce shot, deflected slightly off the wall for an own goal..

Just kidding Capro! :)

3-0 OSFC

We then took our foot off the gas a little, this resulted in them having their best chance just before half time. Their player cut in from our right hit a shot low across James but it went narrowly wide.

HT 3-0

At this point Joe and I were feeling the effects of illness and the decision was mate to bring us off. Now would this be akin to Alf Ramsey in Mexico 1970, taking off Moore and Charlton from 2-0 up to lose 3-2?! Or would it be like a legendary Jose Mourinho double substitution to wrap up the game?!

(Yes I know, I just compared myself to Bobby Moore and Jose Mouinho in one paragraph. However you get to do things like that when you write the reports and have had too much flu medicine)



Anyhoo.. Second half;

I missed the 4th goal trying to get the warm water to work, so here's the Skippers description;

"Their corner, headed out by me (Pato),  Patterson, Tom  collected by Cranny,  Cranny, Steve fed to Ingram (replacing Joe), who put Carpo in with no one near him in a free run from the halfway line. He fucking (sic) chipped the goalie from 25 yards (22.86m) for his hat trick !!"

Then followed a flat period of the game with Rob and Ben standing firm under pressure and Carpo getting fouled every time he got the ball.

We then conceded a very bizarre goal, we stepped up playing offside and suddenly there were three green shirts around our goalkeeper and they passed the ball Into the net.

It looked very offside in the end but we stopped instead of playing to the whistle. Good job we were 4 up- Andres later said he thought the ref was going to give the offside (memories of Dom running the line at Tongham came flooding back)

4-1

The rest of the half was a bit cagey, the highlight being Bens handbags with about 4 of their players in a row. My money was on Ben

Andres came on for a 10 min cameo, would've been longer if he hadn't been in the bushes when I tried to bring him on.. :) Loaiza, Andres 

Final score 4-1


Man of the match, Sam Carpenter for an excellent hat trick and all round display. Honourable mention to Joe, Cheese,  and everyone else frankly. No passengers today, how it should be.

OSFC 7 Elm Grove 1

It is always nice to write a match report off the back off such a resounding victory. The more eagle eyed amongst you might have noticed no Shalford edition after the final game before Chrimbo. Wasn’t really feeling that one…

We beat Elm Grove first game of the season and, as they lined up, you could see a much changed team, shorn of a couple of their better players. However, you can only beat the team in front of you (Hibbert, 2012, pg1). Saying that, we were missing a few ourselves: Hibbert  Hibbert, Will  was busy filming the remake of the Englishman that went up a hill but came down a mountain, Carpo had ricked his back bench pressing a car (don’t try that at home), Ray  Ferris, Ray  cried off ill after a high class Friday night out in town and Boyne had adjudged the pitch not wet or worthy enough for slide tackling (or was altitude training with Hibbert) Jimmy Pat  Paterson, James  had a timely suspension (5 yellow cards accumulated) to spend the Saturday with his Mrs who celebrated her bday. Still we lined up strongly: James Reedman, Cheese, Ben H, Wallace, Dommm, Cranwell, Andres, JB, Clarky, Sam R, Pato; Javier.

It was the first game of 2013 and we decided to go out there with a positive attitude which we were to carry through the game regardless of what happened. There was a relaxed feel around the team and if there was ever a good omen, Andres had even turned up on time, with the keys and the match forms.

We came out of the blocks at 100mph and were all over them for the first 15 minutes. Big Ben was marshalling well at the back, hollering the orders. OSFC were dominating the midfield too with Andres especially getting stuck in, Sam R getting a lot of good early possession and terrorising their LB. The opener came from a great free kick into the box from Clarky headed on from Pato, which was floating wide but Cheese followed up a potentially lost cause from an acute angle well which their goalie could only save into the net. 1-nil. The second for OSFC followed quickly; JB picked the ball up around the halfway line and drove past two players into the box, shouting “ref, ref!” as he was pulled back by the last defender, and kept his composure to fire low into the corner. A brilliant solo effort. 2-nil after 15 mins.

After this we sat back a little. Perhaps tired from our blistering start and probably somewhat surprised at the ruthless, brutal nature of it. They dominated the remainder of the half without really creating too much to trouble J Reedman in nets, aside from an excellent freekick off the bar. The back four, to a man, were resolute in this period; Wallace and Dommm making notable timely tackles frustrating the visitors.

On the stroke of HT we scored a timely third. A Cranwell corner was heading out of bounds when it was impressively turned back into the 6 yard box by JB on the stretch and Ben H reacted fastest to slot home. 3-nil and HT.

3-nil halftime? We knew that the first goal after the restart would be decisive. For once we started like we knew this was the case and immediately profited from good interplay between JB and Pato. A very nice (if I do say myself) clipped Pato throughball to an onrushing JB put him in on goal but their recovering last defender just managed to nick the ball away off his toe. However, the resulting clearance fell to Cranwell who superbly kept his cool to sidefoot home from the edge of the box. 4-nothing. 

They finally got on the scoresheet with a generous soft penalty from the ref. Their no. 10 sending JR the wrong way. 4-1. They had a decent period after this, having obviously gained confidence through the peno. They created a few chances of note, one in particularly brought a fantastic save from JR with his left leg. Our fifth, yes 5^th, made the game safe, a Cranwell corner was helped on by a hapless defender for the unmarked Ben H to confidently volley home from 6 yards, his second of the game. 5-1. A sixth (could have been the seventh, it got difficult to track) quickly followed after a goalmouth scramble involving Ben H which Cranwell followed up from about half a yard for his brace. The floodgates were well and truly open by this point and Javier was all over it, unfortunately spurning two gilt-edged chances laid on by Pato and JB. However, he took his third having been put through by Andres, nonchalantly firing low past their luckless goalie. 7-nil. The End.

An excellent performance from all. MOM could have gone to Ben H with a great performance at the back and 2 goals, Cranwell with an assist or two and 2 goals or Sam R who tormented their defence to such an extent that they gave up trying to get the ball off him legally, resulting in two yellow cards being dished out. MOM however has to go to JB, a goal and 3 assists, he was everywhere and everything.

A long report, but lots to put in. Thanks to Austin and the Reedmans, Chat and Pato Senior Senior for the support on the day. And yes, I played up front on my own for 90 minutes in a team that scored 7 goals and failed to notch.   

the 1st XI struggled to get 11 men out on Saturday whilst the 2nd XI ended up with about 15 players including Galazzi and AJ. We'd have won if we could have a couple of extra decent players on Saturday. Andy Dalton pulled up in the warm up to leave us with a bear 11 as Joe Byrne stayed in bed with Andres and Rob Clarke.

We went 1-0 down when a cross form the right but managed to pull one back quickly. The wind was with us and Ollie in nets (MOM) was pumping the ball over their back line to cause them problems which should have been punished. A breakaway goal then went to Knaphill when the useful no9 got away from Wallace and Boyne couldnt quite catch him. We then got back level again and missed some decent chances. 2-2 at half time and we should have been ahead.

The 2nd half favoured Knaphill and we did well defending as the pitch got heavier and heavier. How we would have benefitted from a sub at this stage but with about 25 minutes to go we were lucky to be hanging on as we struggled to keep the ball and Ollie made some world class saves to keep us in the game. 5 minutes later the ball wasnt cleared well enough and their centre midfielder let fly from the edge of the box with a good strike into the top corner.

The idiot up front then decided to keep the ball when called offside and was rightly booked when he held on whilst Ollie tried to restart play. He then spent 5 minutes trying to kill everyone and was rightly sent off for trying to break Haddad's leg in the last minute.

Top marks to the young referee who had an excellent game but hopefully we'll sort out availability...

MATCH REPORT CHOBHAM AND BURYMEAD V OSFC

It was a typical rainy November’s day as OSFC turned up for their 10th league fixture of the season. It was a relaxed and positive pregame atmosphere in the dressing room though William Wallace was lucky not to be hanged, drawn and quartered for not bothering to dry the kit in anticipation of the rain. It was good to welcome back Haddad, Jonny H and Willy who passed his own ‘stern’ fitness test. The pitch was HUGE and wet. The biggest crowd of the year (17) had assembled to watch the leagues entertainers who’s last 5 games had featured a total of 28 goals.

Sales kicked off proceedings and immediately gifted the home side their opener. James H and James R expecting each other to clear a bouncing ball in the six yard box and their striker stole in to toe poke home (5’). Not the start we wanted. Was it going to be the same old story? Well, actually no it wasn’t. Sam C up front on his own, eagerly supported by Sam R started to stretch their poor defence on the big pitch. Our equaliser came from an isolated Sam C working space against his defender to strike a strong low shot across their keeper which he spilled to Pato side foot home (15’). After this point we dominated the rest of the half: Sam C having a terrific driven freekick saved by their GK, Sam R terrorising their LB and seeing a decent shot saved low. How they didn’t have a man sent off for scything down Sam C two footed was unbelievable. We got a deserved second on the stroke of HT with Joe B rising highest to nod home from a corner. Sam R getting a nice assist by ‘helping’ their GK out of the way (44’).

HT 2-1 Sales.

After a positive HT chat we never got going in the second half. And if it wasn’t for James R and 3 or 4 of his awesome saves we would have been dead and buried 5 mins after the restart. As it was we were the first to strike in the second half. After good work from Sam Reedman in their box, a defender’s clearance cannoned off Joe Byrne into the net for his 4th of the season (55’). After that it was really all the home team. Their pressure eventually led to a corner which was nodded home, squirting between the near post and 3 OSFC defenders (65’), 3-2. This gave Chobham Burymead all the inspiration they needed as we struggled to clear our lines let alone get out of our half. They did not have to wait long for their equaliser, which came from the penalty spot after Wallace was harshly adjudged to have fouled their Eastern European Diving Champion, 3-3 (70’). Their support expected their side to push for a winner after such a fight back. A ‘winner’ was exactly what they got. Sales again not clearing their lines, and some tired defending leading to the ball falling to an on-rushing attacker to nobble home into an open net from 10 yards, 4-3 (75’). This prompted such jubilant celebration from the home side one expected to fully-kitted John Terry to turn up and join in. However, Sales had one last throw of the dice, something Chobham Burymead could not, never in a million years, legislate for… MARK “I’m so horny” HIGGINS. On came the secret weapon. As we pushed to draw level we won a corner. Sam C delivered it to an unmarked and static Higgins to nod home near post (85’). No scenes of premature ejaculation from OSFC, a draw was the least we deserved after such a performance against the only undefeated side in the league.

TF 4-4

Notable performances include Sam C who put in a massive shift on his own up front, Sam R fast making the right flank his own, James R with another fine performance between the sticks, Joe B two goals and great to have Willy back. Jimmy Pat got MOM for a brilliant battling performance anchoring the OSFC midfield.

Whatever can be said about playing for OSFC it is certainly not boring!

Old Salesians 2nds 5 Ockham 2nds 0 - A Salesian Odyssey by Anthony "Kasparov" Gentile.

Fortress Farnborough Gate experienced a comprehensive victory for the OSFC Stiffs on Saturday...  Manager Matt had a veritable plethora of riches at his disposal this week - some 20 players - and used his chess pieces to superb effect on an otherwise uneventful day for British sport...

A tried and tested 4-4-2 was selected with a debut handed to young Tom Byrne who for the first 20 minutes excelled on the left wing - his tall slender handsome figure and gliding movements reminiscent of the Bishop on grandmaster Wilson's chess board. His energy and endeavour was rewarded with a goal... Coolly slotting past the village idiot of a keeper in the Ockham net. However the Bishop's debut was cut short by a cruel turn of fate. An innocuous challenge resulted in Tom apparently dislocating his thumb and the kind Killick family took the young lad to A&E. Tom, who also had a shot saved at 1-0, will be unable to hitchhike and text for several weeks to come. Our thoughts are with him. 

Returning to the chess board, the opening moves prior to the goal were very much down to both teams sizing each other up. The Ockham side had the first chance, or gambit, with a shot deflected off of Chris Brown looping up and over the rook like Gents in goal. Luckily this castle was fleet of foot and back pedalled swiftly to tip the ball over the bar - think Paul Parker/Peter Shilton on that fateful night in Turin with the only exception being that Gents' wrist remained taut and rigid enough to divert the ball as opposed to Shilton's flaccid paw.

Most of the rest of the half saw OSFC in control when they played the ball simply and to feet - a mantra that Wilson encourages. Confidence oozed from the back with a stellar pairing of Big Ben and Haddad - the King and Queen at centre half - flanked by the pawns of Little Dom and Wilson himself - and the ball was moved from one side to the next with ease. Little Dom, who returned after his exile (rumours that he's been filming as an extra in the new Hobbit film are yet to be verified), looked to get forward and support at first Tom , and then the other rook like figure on the pitch, Luke Bolt. 

With the simple came the next goal... A trusty Wilson delivery, a la Gary Neville, was met by Joe Pawn's 'little eyebrows' and the deflection was enough to arc over the advancing village idiot and caused the net to ripple for the second time. 2-0. 

Half time came, oranges were sucked.  The side looked good however on a couple of occasions some over complication caused concern - "no more," said the Grandmaster, but would his pawns listen? Led by Hudson and Joe in the middle, they certainly did. The early threat of a shuffled Ockham team was soon quashed by Jason Taylor, the other bishop, latching onto a Queen Haddad through ball and stroking it into the net. 3-0. 

Rook Bolt then showed a sublime piece of skill good enough to grace any stadium... A high ball fell towards him and he instinctively knew what to do. Calling Jonny Hudson's name, he 'bellied' the ball to Jonny's feet - clever, natural, skilful yet not easy, this move is sure to be mimicked in school playgrounds and parks for years to come - oh, he also scored the 4th by hooking the ball into an open net from the corner of the area. 

On came the cavalry - Sir Bovine and another prodigal son, Sir Hill of Jones, and the two of them interlinked well down the right hand side... Often galloping down the flank to deliver piercing balls into the area. However the endgame began and the 5th and final goal came from the creative Joe Pawn allowing skipper Rob Stevens to toe poke Hargeaves-style past the keeper from a yard out - showing the importance of getting in the right places. 

Ockham resigned, Wilson shook hands. 5-0 win... 

Man of the match went to the ever willing Jonny Hudson with both Joe Pawn and Big Ben mentioned in dispatches. OSFC supporters club, fronted by the lady in the wheel chair who used to watch games at Hawley, have confirmed that Tim Cheesman's position as crowd favourite is under pressure from Big Ben, the solid Mackem; T-shirts are being printed with Ben's face a-top the famous london clock tower of the houses of parliament.  While the supporters club know that Big Ben is actually the bell and not the clock tower itself, such a t-shirt may not be as obvious to the uneducated and could also lead to less tasteful comments linking Ben to an altogether different erection. 

Bring on the next opponent... 

Well it was nice day in Ockham. The pitch looked good and sound, but it proved anything but.

>

> We started very well and besieged the home team and their box for the first 10 mins. Joe Byrne and Sam Reedman particularly excelling. Yet it was a simple speculative long ball over the top that undid us and their 12 rounded Dan for the opener. 1-0.

>

> We do not always rally well from such a set back but for once played some very good football involving Joe and Sammy R which resulted in a fairly called peno. Expertly dispatched by Carpo. He celebrated like he had celebrated quite heavily the night before.

>

> Although we dominated possession and the opportunities in the game, Ockham struck again on the break. This time Dan, exposed by his defence, saved superbly only for an Ockham player to slot home at the back post. Again we pushed forward winning another penalty. It was again fairly given after a Carpo though ball and Andreas was scythed down. Andreas did not dispatch the penalty but calmly poked home the rebound. No more penos for him. 2-2. Subsequently, their excellent GK flubbed a back pass to a Carpo who calmly stroked the ball back to the GK when thru on goal on his own.

>

> Jimmy Pat also got threatened with a sending off for calling their Capt "fatty"

another one for the Xmas card list?!

>

> HT

>

> The second half defo Sales started the stronger with their main defender nearly conceding off a cross from our KO. Tho impressive Reedman had gone off at HT and Cranwell was now playing winger and was getting all sorts of decent threatening positions. Pato flashing a cross across the box which Cranny turned wide off his ample belly. Cranwell went off after this upon injuring his back and was replaced by Higuain.

>

> Although we had the pressure it was again Ockham who struck first in the second half. Again it was a breakaway after Sales pressure and again Dan was let down by team defence, a deep cross to the back post nodded in by their winger.

>

> Willy pushed Clarky upfront with an almost immediate effect. Clarky ran straight through on goal from a Pato Jr thru ball (!), which Clarky calmly slotted wide 1 on 1.

>

> Sales piled on the pressure from this point onwards for the rest of

> the half. Only interrupted by a scuffle between "Tubs" (the capt) and jimmy pat. For once Jimmy pat the only one coming away without a yellow card.

>

> We pushed for a goal and it came. It wasn't a classic, another peno. But a deserved handball and Carpo kept his cool and dispatched an excellent peno into the top right hand corner. Their goalie even giving him bizarre abuse afters about his technique...

>

> 3-3 deserved point. Maybe should have been 3?

>

> Callum brilliant in unfamiliar position and Joe, Dan excellent as always but Carpo MOM for 2 excellent penos. Great to have him back, 5 goals 2 games