'DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER'

-CROWDED HOUSE

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'DON'T STOP BELIEVING'

-JOURNEY

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away .............

Well thats what it feels like when you try and think of the last time we had beaten Saints, but after a number of near misses the monkey as they say is well and truly off our backs and the race for the title is back on !!!

Before i launch into a descriptive narrative of the game showcasing the highs and lows i would like to point out to all and sundry that if we, the predators, win our 5 remaining games then we will win the title !! Maybe not by ourselves but a shared title is better than waking up with a sore arse wondering where your tooth brush is.

and now....................... THE GAME

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It began like all other games with a toss of the coin, even the result (us losing the toss) seemed normal enough. Having chosen to insert themselves (a task i feel they enjoyed a little too much) the saints team then decided to bat.

Our regular opening strike weapon, Sean Mcgowan, seemed to come to the conclusion that if they wished to bat first the pitch must be so good that the best plan was to make sure the ball never landed on it !!!  After a flurry of full tosses and subsequent 4's being scored Sean eventually got his man with, you guessed it, another full toss which somehow he missed, castling him. 

Mark Cini(1-17) was his steady frugil best at the other end and when Carl watson(2-14) and Glenn Purdon(1-10) came on and bowled their 8 overs each straight thru Saints had gone from 29/1 off 5 overs to 62/5 off 24 overs scoring just 33 runs in 19 overs.

So exciting and positive was their batting that people were going from our game to watch the womens game being played nearby. After a 40 over batting snore fest they reached 133/7 largely thanks to Sam Mowat(20 off an over) whom dished up some pies near the end that Mrs Macs would be proud to serve.

Then, with the batting order set for the chase and our version or ebony and ivory (Tapi & Ranalf) striding out to the crease i was suddenly struck with a feeling of fear and forboding similar to the feeling i get when i see this similarity, which is frankly just spooky

The feeling began to slowly seep away as firstly we starting chipping away at their total but more importantly when the BBQ got cranking and the smell of sausages came floating over.

With several cameos, Mowat(22) and Renwick(16) it took a captains knock to well and truly win the match. Ross Martin stood up and was counted today with a beligerant innings of 58* to lead the team to victory and a well deserved beer.

Along with our great victory came filtering thru the news that East Shirley had beaten Merivale Papanui and so giving us the chance to carry on in our quest for the title, which continues this upcoming saturday vs Marist Harewood who will surely be shitting their pants at the thought of a rampant Predators team.

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"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN"

- ANA JOHNSSON

Deciding that since Sumner were perhaps the worst cricket team ever and the fact that they defaulted to us in the first round we chose to completely disrespect them by only turning up with 9 players still confident that we would dominate and if possible humiliate them.

And for the large crowd of spectatures that flocked to sumner to watch (although some will claim they were only there for the coast to coast) we did not dissapoint.

After winning the toss and deciding to bat our openers Sam Mowat and Ranulf Overton got us off to a steady start, that is untill Ranulf(8) forgot he was not Usain Bolt between the wickets and Mowie(17) decided to give easy catching practice. This did nothing to halt our march however as it brought together Monty Renwick (feared for his cuts, pulls, drives and tempting of little children with big lollipops)

and Ross Martin (affectionatley known as 'our little Larter')

What followed was a torrent of strokes not seen since the Christchurch epileptic societies fatal guy fawkes display circa 1897. Both batsmen showing their full range of shots and masterfully running between the wickets until the wise old head of Monty decided to play 'injured' and have someone else run for him so all he had to do was stand there and swing.

Having a runner proved the downfall of Ross(74) who was run out thinking he was as quick as mowie (monty's runner) but not before he and monty has produced a superb partnership yielding 128 runs.

Monty followed soon after for a well made 69 a number which he was not unhappy to go out on. Small cameos appeared throughout our small tail and a more then respectfull score of 220 was posted.

The score looked like it may have come under threat at 20-0 after just 4 overs but Sumner soon showed its class to collapse to 24-5. They ressurected their innings slighly thanks largely to the predators inability to catch the cricket ball, with several players being at fault.

Despite our inability to catch we managed to slaughter their batting bowling them out for a poultry 115, the best of the bowlers being Sean Mcgowan(3-15).

Not the warm up we wanted for this weeks up coming match against fellow title contenders St Albans but oh well. Join me next week for another gripping tale of intrigue and drama, and i might even mention some cricket.

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"THE SWEET ESCAPE"

- GWEN STEFANI

Like the movie 'Independance Day' this match should have ended so much differently. I'm not even sure if we won or lost the toss but the result was us batting against a team we had previously lost to. So the last thing we wanted was a bad start. Cue the curse of the commentator, just when things look good they turn to shit.

Within a matter of minutes we had been reduced to 3/2 with both trump cards Berryman (0) and Renwick (2) back in the barrcks. A series of small recovery partnerships followed including a return to form for last years leading run scorer Sam 'as seen on fair go' Mowat (35).

It wasn't until some stubborn resistance from Hickson (26), Scott Purdon (10) with a partnership of 50 for the 9th wicket gave the mighty predators a defendable score of 183, all this was help with extras top scoring (40)

And so we began the task of defending our modest toal on a ground known for its high proportion of boundaries due to it's small nature. And so again the last thing we wanted was a bad start. But whats a game without a little challenge. So we let them get to 36/0 off 6 overs before the anchors were out and we strangled them for the next 14 overs to have them at 65/2 at drinks thanks to a tight spell of bowling from Berryman (1-27), Hickson (0-22) & S Purdon (1-22) who recovered well after going for 16 in his first 2 overs.

As the match wore on and the tension mounted even the people on the sideline started to look pensive, although this little girl could have been just worried when she saw Monty starting to take his keeping gear off she probably thought he was going to have a bowl.

      "I'm scared, please don't bowl monty, i want my mummy"

Never fear young girl (well not of monty bowling) he was just leaving to go to his Dad's birthday party, some people have no team loyalty

PROPOSED TEAM PUNISHMENT FOR LACK OF LOYALTY

A GOOD OLD FASHIONED STONING

Unfortunately if we did employ a stoning philosophy it would probably suit most of the team. But back to the match where the tension, drama and Ross's runs per over were all very high.

With the absence of Monty our fielding improved with yet another run-out forced and several good catches being snaffled. But it did look like it was going to come down to the last over, lucikly for us Ross had a different plan in mind.

Having lulled them into a false sense of secruity by allowing 14 off his previous over he then finished them off with 2 wickets in his last over earning him some well deserved ('cough' 'cough') 'bowling bonus' points and outright lead (by 0.5 of a point) in the Player of the year standings.

Much to the delight of the rest of the team

And so with a narrow revenge victory safely secured we move on towards Sumner, who managed to default to us last round fearful of the mauling that now awaits them this round.

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"EYE OF THE TIGER"

- SURVIVOR

IT BEGAN LIKE ANY OTHER GAME, THE TOSS, THE DECISION, THE PANIC OVER WHO WAS GOING TO OPEN THE BOWLING WITH SEAN. BUT TELL US THEN WHAT WAS TO TRANSPIRE AND NO-ONE ON THE FIELD WOULD HAVE DARED BELIVE IT, MUCH LESS HOPED IT WAS TRUE.

BUT BEFORE I DELVE IN TO THE DARK GLOOMY DEPTHS OF THAT I WILL INDULGE YOU IN SOME TRULY INSPIRING DETAILS OF THE GAME.

THE GAME BEGAN SEDATELY ENOUGH, WELL THATS NOT TRUE IT BEGAN REALLY BORING, BETWEEN HALSWELLS LACK OF INTREST IN SCORING AND THEIR UMPIRES INABILITY TO REALISE THAT JUST CAUSE YOUR BOWLED OFF A FULL TOSS THAT DOESN'T MEAN ITS GONE ABOVE YA WAIST (DICKHEAD !!)

AFTER DRINKS (AT WHICH POINT HALSWELL HAD LIMPED THROUGH TO 66/1 AND WE HAD ONLY TAKEN 70 MINS TO BOWL 20 OVERS) THE ACTION FINALLY TOOK HOLD. UNLUCKILY FOR HALSWELL THE TWIN SPIN ATTACK OF PURDON AND HICKSON MEANT ONLY 1 THING.....

TROUBLE AND RUN-OUTS, WELL THATS 2 THINGS BUT WTF.

COMMENT MUST BE MADE OF HICKSONS SPECTACULAR RUNNING, DIVING, SIDE-ON, ONLY 1 STUMP TO AIM AT RUN-OUT, AND WE ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE SOME FOOTAGE

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WITH JAMES BERRYMAN BURGLING 3-15 AND THEM HAVING 4 RUN-OUTS WE MANAGED TO RESTRICT THEM TO A MODEST 126/10, BOWLING THEM OUT IN THE 40TH OVER.

AND THEN OUR CHASE BEGAN, AND BEGIN IT HAS DONE ON MORE THAN 1 OCCASION WITH SAM MOWAT GOING CHEAPLY (ALTHOUGH THERE WAS DISCUSSION HE ONLY WANTED TO GET OUT TO HAVE THE LUNCH HIS GRANDMOTHER BOUGHT DOWN TO THE GAME FOR HIM).

THE REST OF THE BATTING CONTINUED THE FIGHT, AND EVEN WITH THE DISTRACTION OF MONTY RENWICKS HALF BROTHER (KEVIN) WHO HAD APPARENTLY BIKED DOWN TO THE GAME WE MANAGED TO SCORE AT CONSISTANT RATE.

WHILE PURDS AND RUDOLF WERE BATTING MONTYS HALF BROTHER KEVIN

MONTY AND KEVIN LAST XMAS (BOTH GOT NEW BIKES)

WAS REGALING THE TEAM WITH STORIES OF HOW HE GOT CHRIS CAIRNS OUT AT CASEBROOK INTERMEDIATE AND THE BEST WAY TO DRY MARIJUANA.

DESPITE THE STORY TELLING THE WHOLE TEAM SAW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT AND WAS SICKENED.

ROB KELLY (WHO WILL CLAIM A DIFFERENT VERSION BUT UNFORTUNATELY CONCUSSION HAS LEFT HIM VERY LITTLE MEMORY) WAS BATTING AT HIS NORMAL SLOW TURTLE LIKE PACE AND THE CROWD WAS STARTING TO GET RESTLESS, THIS WAS EATING INTO DRINKING TIME !!

THEN OUT OF THE BLUE A WOMAN RAN ONTO THE FIELD AND SMACKED HIM YELLING AT HIM TO "HURRY THE FUCK UP YA BORING BASTARD !!"

APPARENTLY IT IS OK IF ITS FUNNY !!!

PROSECUTION EXHIBIT A :    

EVEN AFTER THE ATTACK THERE WAS MUCH DISCUSSION AS TO WHETHER OR NOT IT HAD IMPROVED ROB'S LOOK, BUT ERRING ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION SAM DUTIFULLY TOOK HIM TO HOSPITAL (PRIVATELY HOPING THEY WOULD PUT HIM DOWN)

DESPITE THE ABSENCE OF ROB WE MANAGED TO SCORE THE NECESSARY RUNS AND IN QUICK TIME WITH BOTH MONTY AND BERRYMAN PROBABLY GETTING 50's BUT BECAUSE HALF OUR TEAM ARE MORONS WHO CAN'T COUNT THEY ONLY GOT 48* AND 47* RESPECTIVELY (WITH JAMES HITTING SIX 6's AND MONTY NICKING 1 SOMEHOW)

AND SO WE LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEKS GAME AGAINST OLD BOYS AS WE LOOK TO REVENGE OUR FIRST ROUND LOSS.

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